The Carnivore

Before we left South Africa Jess (Jared’s awesome dad) gave us money to feast at Carnivore in Nairobi… It was something that the three of us had been looking forward to since the start of the trip, so arriving in Nairobi was warmly welcomed.

We took it to a level where we strategised ways in which we could slowly expand our stomach capacities, it was worth it!

The initial plan was to go the same night that we arrived back from Mombasa. However, for some reason none of us managed to get any sleep on the luxury 52 seater night coach, so upon arrival in Nairobi Backpackers we were all a bit under the weather. The experience of African bus night travel was an interesting one though. The leg room allocated per seat is about a third of that which you get on a 1Time domestic economy flight, and the back of each chair has a unique array of pointy bolts which force you to keep your wits about you while you choose the best sleeping position. Amazingly we managed to sit and sleep on the chair alone legs and all, using the chair in front of us only to hold on. Overall the bus trip was… ok, we did save ourselves some money, and made it to Nairobi a day and a half earlier, which in the end made up for time in Hell’s Gate… (next blog)

Anyway, back to the Carnivore,

So as I said we were all pretty knackered and decided it would be a waste to go to Carnivore that night. Now that that was out the way we jointly decided to postpone the night of Glory to Friday and spend the rest of the day chilling with the other backpackers and recovering a bit. That night ended up in Gypsies, one of Nairobi finest clubs/pubs, (allegedly), with us, thanks to locally brewed ‘Vodka’ to wake up with a mighty big, well, hangover. Which, for a change was welcomed, as we knew what was in store for us at 19:30 that night.

The day went by really slowly, and we ate minimal amounts of food, comprising mainly of snacks. So by nightfall we were just about self-digesting. We took Stanley out and made our way to carnivore. We had a Grande welcome and were shown to our seats to be welcomed by the ‘Doctor’ who prepared a vodka, lime and honey cocktail, designed to further whet the appetite. Called a Dawa.

So it started, we were brought our vegetable soup and breadsticks, the salad and sauce plate and then it started! The carvers with their lumps of meat and machetes surrounded our table and started carving and piling up our plates with…

Roast beef
Turkey
Crocodile
Roast Pork
Chicken Sausage
Pork Crackling
Roast Lamb
Beef Ribs
Chicken
Ostrich
Pork Ribs
Beef Sausage
Pork Sausages
Buffalo wings
… and this went on for about 3 hours, having the occasional time out, which is the only time we could actually see the colour of our plates. By the end of that we were…well… Beasted. Finally deciding none of us could have any more, not even a drink, we threw down the white serving flag, and surrendered. After desert all we could do was walk to the car, and went directly to bed. It was awesome! As they say at Carnivore, it was a BEAST OF A FEAST.

Just as a by the by, 2 years ago, before Kenyan officials made hunting illegal, Carnivore also served game. Apparently such as Zebra, Giraffe, Gazelle, Rhino etc, and if you ordered salad, or a vegetarian dishes a group of Masai men would pick you up on your chair and throw you in a pool of water. It’s a lot more civilized now, but what an experience! Thank you Jess!